Tools of the Trade Three

August, 2021

In my blogs about specialized equipment for us pALS, I have saved the best for last. In the early stages of my disease progression I could still transfer from walker to seat and even drive. As it became clear that the LazyBoy on Wheels would soon become my permanent friend, it also became clear that the Mini Cooper had to be retired to a more ambulatory family. So the Mini went to my law partner. In its place landed a fully loaded gimp mobile, blue disability parking placard available separately.

There’s a lot that goes into retrofitting a minivan, in my case a Toyota Sienna, to a disability transport module. The big modification involves dropping the floor while raising the passenger compartment sufficiently to secure in said compartment the LazyBoy on Wheels with its precious cargo. This necessitates replacing the front seats and inserting widgets in the floor for attaching straps used to immobilize the LazyBoy on Wheels. Although the minivan has been lifted vertically, there is no modification to the wheels or the wheel wells, which makes the vehicle look like it is fitted with shoes two sizes too small. Imagine a maroon bread basket on wheels that was fed too many bad steroids and you’ve got the picture. I have given it a socially and politically incorrect nickname: The Chick Magnet.

One of the most important modifications is the ramp that electronically protrudes from the side of the vehicle like Mick Jagger’s tongue. There is even a slick feature that compensates the slope of the ramp when you park next to a curb. The challenge with the ramp comes when someone else is controlling the chair. Let’s just say that it is a very tight needle to thread.

When we first bought The Chick Magnet I was able to open the door, motor up the ramp, and transfer to the driver’s seat without much difficulty. Even when I hung up my keys for the last time, I could still transfer to my choice of passenger seats.

All good things come to an end, however, and transferring soon became well nigh impossible. Enter the locking gizmo, which allows me to lock in place the LazyBoy on Wheels where the front passenger seat formerly sat. I only have to glide the locking plate bolted to the bottom of the LazyBoy on Wheels into the locking box bolted to the floorboard of The Chick Magnet. The only problem is that if I’m a centimeter off, the locking box won’t lock and I have to move the LazyBoy on Wheels back and forth to get it right. Of course, while you are doing this, the gizmo, which has been thoughtfully connected to the stereo system, orally reminds you that your wheelchair is not locked. Why the gizmo doesn’t include a a guide for your wheelchair wheels to follow is beyond me. Luckily Clever Brother Chris designed a removable guide which works to this day. Once locked in, St. Laurel and I are off to the the clinic or similar excitement.

We recently found a further complication with the locking assembly. It seems that the locking plate is attached to the LazyBoy on Wheels on the same part of the frame on which the battery sits. So to change the now beyond their useful life batteries we have to coordinate with two different vendors within the medical industrial complex. Overwhelming joy.

Well there you have it. As with the other medical mechanical marvels, The Chick Magnet is a thankful addition to the quiver. Before I was finally grounded by unrestrained head drop and respirator dependency, it gave me a few extra months of mobility, and even a final trip to Lake Tahoe. I was even able to be driven to and roll some of the many accessible trails in the South Bay and environs. Can’t ask for more than that.

See you next time.