December, 2020
Just a quick note of thanks for the presents you have brought me.
Being raised in a Catholic Polish household, Christmas was always a time of joy and family. From the annual shipment of kielbasa, to the cookie factory in the kitchen, to the nativity scene bathed in cotton snow and displayed on top of the TV cabinet, to the tinsel covered tree in the living room, my childhood home was stocked for the holidays.
As a kid, however, my biggest joy was presents. Lots of presents.
Getting older, my biggest joy became seeing friends and family over the holiday as we gathered together to share our common bonds. Presents had been replaced by presence.
During our great pandemic sheltering presence has become virtual but it is a great gift nonetheless. I feel that gift each time you visit this site. I even receive from many of your own stories and inspiration when you leave comments like so many presents under the blog tree. Like a child on Christmas morning I unwrap each one to find your presence for me. Read them yourself and you’ll see what I mean.
My presents your presence. So thank you for visiting the site and allowing me to share my journey with you. Thank you especially to you who comment to share yourself with me. Happy Holidays!
Embrace The Suck 
Dear Bob, your presence is a blessing, and so is your blog. You have attained princely status in my eyes. Thank you for using your eyes to let us all know what you’re going through, and for doing it all with such fierce honesty and courage.
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Wesolych Swiat! Merry Christmas from your Ohio cousin who shares these Beautiful Polish Christmas Traditions!!
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Happy holidays Bob to you, Laurel and the family! It has been a strange year, indeed, and thank you for bringing inspiration, humor and insight to us. Thank you for trusting us to share your journey and most private moments with us! Christmas cheer and hugs,
Yvonne and Tom
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Merry Christmas to you Bob and Laurel ! Mike and I enjoy your blogs and look forward to reading them, sharing them, laughing , and crying …. Hang in there , we are always thinking of you ❤️ Kim
Sent from my iPhone
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Love this post! Merry Christmas to you and Laurel.
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Your description of your childhood Christmases evoked memories of my ex’s family Christmas–Lithuanian, but exactly alike in every other respect, right down to the kielbasa. I love your shift from presents to presence, and I’m very grateful that I discovered your presence here this year. Thank you for all your posts and especially for the example of your humor, courage and equanimity in embracing the suck.
Lynne
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Much love to you, Bob and Laurel!
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Chris and I so wish we could spend the holiday together with the Hawn family, as is the tradition. It breaks our hearts that we are all separated at this time. While I may not comment on your posts, I read them, and am warmed and humored by your heart, spirit, and wit. We love you!!
Merry Christmas! Sage
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All the best to you, Bob, and much love to your family. My thoughts are with you. And I wish you as much as peace and as little discomfort as possible.
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I so enjoy and appreciat your writing, Bob (or do we call it eyeing?). At this time of year I tend to think of those things which have made me smile and one is remembering when you played keyboards with Katie at the drums at what I think was a JazzFest performance at the Tabard. Now it is your blog that makes me smile. You know I admire your sense of humor and sensibilities. Rick and I send our love to you and Laurel and look forward to maybe actually getting to see you in person in 2021! Merry Christmas!
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Presence…a few to share: that time at your parents house (?) where i learned about N20 in whipped cream dispensers; jammin with a band at a party longer than i should have (take 5?); dancin to men at work with the ladies then crashin in my v-dub van… microwave kittens of course; UC cops shuttin us down ’cause we were disturbing Boalt (thanks gail farquar for the gig…); northside, the cat, Barrington(?) – anyway, so many presence to open and cherish. Merry Christmas mi amigo!
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Bob, Happy Holidaze and a Hoppy Gnu Ear to you and yours.
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Bob, your posts are always perfect. Best wishes for the holidays. We miss you all!
Paul
On Thu, Dec 24, 2020 at 12:01 PM Embrace The Suck wrote:
> embrace-the-suck.blog posted: ” December, 2020 Just a quick note of thanks > for the presents you have brought me. Being raised in a Catholic Polish > household, Christmas was always a time of joy and family. From the annual > shipment of kielbasa, to the cookie factory in the kitchen,” >
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Bob, thank you for giving us all the gift of your blog. Your honesty, humor and advocacy are entertaining and inspirational. I appreciate your willingness to share your journey from the inside out. Plus I really love the stories of St. Laurel- she is pretty amazing! -Merry Christmas
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Merry Christmas, Bob and Laurel! Wish you and the family a very merry Christmas and all the best in 2021!
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Happy Christmas to you and Laurel. I remember Frank describing your family’s celebration, right down to the kielbasa. Reading a great book you might enjoy – Leave the World Behind by Rumaan Alam. Terrific writing and I stayed up waaay too late reading it last night. Love from the Frozen Tundra, Christine
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Merry Christmas Bob. Love that you shared your life early, as our attorney and continue to share your life with us. I personally look forward to your posts and hang on every word and feel the emotion, tension, relief, appreciation of St Laurel and others, and most of all, how you somehow keep at it and on it. Love you Bob. Give a virtual hug to Laurel and Katie….
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Hi Bob.
Very moving. Thanks.
Michael Dewees
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Merry Christmas Bob. Christmas this year is definitely more about remembering earlier Christmas eves and mornings, the past seems much more present as we do our best gathering around our computers connected by Zoom. My four children are in Eugene (Kari), Baltimore (Marc), Golconda, NV., (Matt), and Royal Gorge x country ski area where Addie is on duty on Ski patrol for those braving the blustery cold snowy weather. We had special Christmas tamales from Cactus Tacqueria in N. Berkeley last night and I have barbecued a cross rib roast for tonight and the rest of the year and maybe then some. A virtual hug to you, St. Laurel, Katie, George and the DOG. Dick
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Your inspiring and well-crafted blog is a special gift to your family of loyal readers. Thank you! And happy holidays to you and St. Laurel. ❄️🎄
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HAPPY HOLIDAYS! to you and Laurel and the whole Hawn clan. Guess what I didn’t have yesterday? – a wine bottle opener! and then…. my Cheers to Bob! wine opener came smiling at me out of the back of the drawer. Thanks for the memories, the present and saving the X-mas dinner. Love you. Andrea
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Merry Christmas Uncle Bob! We really enjoyed our Christmas Zoom yesterday!
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P.S. You should know that I just finished FIVE Christmas cookies in one sitting. Thank you, once again, for your blog-generated inspiration!
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Beautifully expressed Bob, as always. Wonderful memories. Thanks! My parents struggled financially when my siblings and I were very young, but we always received Christmas gifts. And we always got together with grandparents and had a special Christmas dinner.
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Not only do I get to read your inspiring observations about life, not only am I touched by your insights and candor, but I also get to meet many of your friends, and there are many, which is an added pleasure.
Warm energy for you and your fabulous family for this next stage on the world stage and next stage on your personal journey. Love, Jeanne
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Hi Bob, a belated happy new year now. Christmas is never what it used to be, but I can say that over these holidays I have had the treat of being able to train the cochlear implant of last June to listen to music and this strange electronic device in my left ear is helping me here the very high notes in Chopin piano music, the richness of Pablo Casals playing cello, and today I tried listening to the Joshua Redman concert, Walking Shadows, we went to maybe six years ago at Zellerbach Hall. Redman came through pretty well too. Like the very highest notes in the Chopin piano pieces, being able to hear the brushes on the symbol in quiet passages was really emotional. Thank you for helping bring me back to at least a bit of modern jazz.
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Hi Bob – I wanted to write you a note about “presence” here, before following you on your trip to Ireland. That is “presence’ as in being present in the moment. That is a state I’ve been seeking as part of my spiritual journey for many years, but failing miserably. I’ll have the intention of staying in the here and now, the present moment…and the next thing I know I’m waking up from another daydream, or finding myself lost in someone else’s story with no connection to the present moment or my intention. In catching up on your blog posts (especially reading this one), I’ve been speculating whether you, due to your ALS journey, may be finding yourself clearly in the present moment more often than is common for the rest of us. Perhaps it’s some discomfort or physical pain, or maybe just some “WTF, really?” predicament that leaves you in a “here and now” space that you might prefer not to be in. Of course I might be totally off base here, but just in case there’s some reality in my speculation, I’m wishing you easy access to the daydreams of your choice whenever the present moment isn’t all its cracked up to be. Best wishes and thanks for sharing your journey with us.
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