ALS In Disneyland

May, 2021

A respiratory therapist came over and proved to be an ultimate Disneyland freak. She had the most beautiful and intricate arm ink of Disney art I have ever seen. Good thing I can’t talk or we would still be going on about Club 33 and Hidden Mickeys and those wonderful roast turkey legs they sell by the Matterhorn. It got me thinking about how I could bore you with my trip to the Disneyland Resort shortly after my diagnosis.

I’ve been a Disneyland freak since being brainwashed by Walt’s promotional shows when I was but a lad. I especially liked the shows about the Imagineeers, the group that designs the parks. And yes, I’ve watched the Disney+ series, and will probably watch it again. I first visited the park when I was 10 or so, and returned in High School to march in a parade through the park. We took our daughter for the first time when she was in preschool and she freaked out at Gepetto at breakfast. Many times we were accompanied by St. Laurel’s sister Lynnie and hubby Richard who live a half hour from the park.

Most people wear their favorite Disney garb or party t shirt. For me it was a hawaiian shirt and running shoes. Once in the park, we turned into seven year olds on a perpetual sugar high. Three quarters of the time I’m in awe of all the magic. The rest of the time I’m in awe of Disney’s ability to separate me from my money. Or I’m looking for a bathroom, the location of most of which I have memorized.

Now I know what you are all asking: With all this happiness where can I get a drink? Although they don’t serve alcohol in Disneyland with a couple of exceptions, they do at its sister park across the plaza at California Adventure. When there we always visit the “wine ride”, an outdoor wine bar. Hoo hoo. A great spot for viewing parades with a crisp Sauvignon Blanc.

Needless to say this is all accomplished without under aged kids. Don’t get me wrong. Seeing magic through the eyes of children is magic multiplied but, by necessity, they run the show. It’s nice to go at your own pace. Having said that, and for the record, some of our favorite trips were with daughter Katie as she was growing up and we have the videos to prove it.

It was against this backdrop and a damned inconvenient diagnosis that we decided on one last visit. At this point in my disease progression I could still eat, drink, and talk. I could walk but only with a cane and then very slowly, too slowly for our preferred high octane pace. Clearly ambulatory assistance was required. So, a quick call to our hotel, the Grand Californian (I did tell you this was a splurge) and I was promised a bright red four wheeled electric sit upon scooter with a tight turning radius and a front basket sized perfectly to stash my foldable cane. It even came equipped with a piercing electronic beeper which I used with reckless abandon often for no apparent reason. Armed with my steed, two day park hopper pass, and the all important dinner reservations, I was set. Lightspeed to Endor!

The Disney folks have the disability thing down. There are few steps, special gates and, except for some colorful attractions, there are no cars allowed on Main Street. A new urbanist’s dream.

One advantage to mobility impairment was you often went to the front of the line especially for those rides with queues too tight even for my steed with the tight turning radius. The cast member would always remind us that only one other person could accompany me but seeing we were only four they would charitably allow us all. Maybe it was my baby blues or my ability to cry on cue. There are few things more pathetic than a grown man on a scooter busting out in tears because he can’t do the Temple of the Forbidden Eye with members of his extended family.

The cast members were expert at helping me get on and of the rides. Never fell once and was never denied aa ride due to my disability. Truly the Happiest Place on Earth. In retrospect, I could have negotiated many of the lines by cane alone, but what good is an incurable disease if you can’t milk it.

A great trip by any measure, from sumptuous dinners to croissants and cappuccino in California Adventure right as it opened, hanging with Lynnie and Richard at the wine ride, and the fireworks. This time I left with a final goodbye, unless someone spreads some of my ashes on Tom Sawyer Island!

See you next time.